Crazy Sunshine
by Lucky Koriand'r
Summary: [WIP] Because, really, I just need someone to be there for me when I fall… IchiKanau
1. Chapter One: Of Course

**Author: **Lucky Koriand'r**  
Title: "Crazy Sunshine"**  
**Summary: **WIP "Because, really, I just need someone to be there for me when I fall…"**Disclaimer: **Umm. Yep. :p  
**Genre: **Angst / Romance  
**Pairing:** Kanau / Ichi  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Feedback: **Plllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaasssssseeeeeee! 

-x-X-x-X-x-

(And maybe I regret it after all)  
but there's a reason this love has gone down

You know... If you want, we can still pretend for a little while longer.  
(I miss you already)

**Chapter One**

"To be honest… I'm not sure I know what you're saying."

I looked up, into the brutally honest face before me. "That doesn't really matter, Mitsuo-san. I just need some help to get out of here. Not for long, I just don't think I can be around Mikuni right now."  
He shook his head. "It's not that… I get that. But, what's so special about now?" I think I felt my heart drop into my stomach. Regardless, I flashed him a smile. "There's nothing special about now, per say. But I haven't had a break from him for so long!"

It was times like this, where such obvious lies came out, that I was glad that Mitsuo was so naïve. He acts so young… Even though we're about the same age. "I can… Understand if you don't want me to possess you, but really that's the only way."  
"Well, Kanau-kun, I guess I could do it… But just 'til we're outside the gates, right?" After an assuring nod from me, Mitsuo finally exclaimed, "okay! I'll do it. But first… I have to talk to someone." I was a little worried that he might be asking Mikuni if you could (and knowing Mikuni, he'd probably find some sick enjoyment, some sort of game, out of this).

"It's a little insane, don't you think?"

I jerked my head up to the door opposite the one Mitsuo had just left through. Hasunuma stood there, looking smug. "You'll get the chance to run away, but you'll still come back? Somehow, that doesn't strike me as you, Kanau-san."

_Well, fuck. _I didn't see myself talking my way out of this. "I just want to be out today." I knew that Mitsuo wouldn't know, but somehow it seemed to me like Hasunuma really should have known why I was acting so weird.

What was so special about today."It's nothing, really, Hasunuma-san." I said in a voice that made me think it was a wonder why he trusted me at all. "I'm just feeling pent up and I _really_ don't want to be around Mikuni."

He gave an approving huff. "I know what you mean." With that, he walked away. I stood there for a minute or two before Mitsuo came back. "Hey, Kanau-kun, I'm ready, let's go!" I eyed him suspiciously and asked, "who'd you talk to?"

"Ah!" Mitsuo stammered. "No one. Really. I was just looking for Ichi. He's not here, though. Oh, by the way, would you mind looking for him while you're out there?"

I nodded. I didn't really care. "Sure."

-x-X-x-X-x-

The transition from the gate to the open world went rather smoothly (though Mitsuo, obviously out of practice, promptly fainted) and I nearly felt like laughing. I didn't, but I exerted a little joy in twirling my maid dress.

I had looked for my school uniform, but Mikuni must have gotten rid of it. Not like anyone would see me anyway.

Even though I told Mitsuo that I'd look for Ichi, I had no idea where to find him and, frankly, I didn't care. I could always just tell Mitsuo that I could find him.

I knew exactly where I was going, and I wasn't about to stop. Not for anything. I briefly wondered if Senpai would be there, if he had remembered. But I shook any hope for that out of my mind.

_I have so much to live for…_

Shuddering for a second, I realized I was nearly there. As I spotted the bridge, I froze, feeling water washing over me, all over again… Filling my lungs as I cried for Senpai. The bridge was empty, except for one person…

Ichi! I smiled at my fortune. I knew I couldn't direct him home, towards Mitsuo, but at least this way I could come back and repay Mitsuo.

He was leaning again the railing of the bridge and… Crying? He seemed a bit jittery and was bouncing about from foot to foot. He let out a gasp as his back slammed into the rail, and I nearly screamed. He toppled over the side and his hands grabbed onto the side of the bridge, but I could see him slipping.

I really don't know what I was trying to accomplish by jumping off the bridge right as he fell, but the second I tried to grab onto him, I shivered. I heard his body plop into the water… But he was still in my arms, looking up at me, scared.

I returned the expression and muttered, "I-I dunno what to do, I can't - I can't go into the water! I'm sorry!"

That was when I realized I was still holding onto him, even though he was perfectly capable of flying on his own. I wasn't sure if he really knew what to do, so I let go of him, but held his arm tight in my palm.

We landed and I took his wrist before running towards the shrine. He looked confused, but followed.

-x-X-x-X-x-

"Help!"

No answer.

Damn.

"_Help!_" I yelled again, more persistently. "Shut up!" Came a lazy voice from the doorway. Mikuni glared at him, and it was apparent that he had a hang-over. I said, "it's not my fault that you've been up drinking all night, but I have a serious problem!"

I felt a little grateful to get some form of reply, but I also felt that it was a bit of an inadequate response, to flip one off.

"Kanau?" Mitsuo's voice asked from behind Mikuni. "Oh, good, you found him! How'd you manage to bring him back?" But I think that the traumatized expression on Ichi face kinda gave the answer away, and Mitsuo proclaimed, "what happened?"

Clenching my eyes shut, I pretended that this wasn't happening. "He-he slipped!"

Unfortunately, Ichi chose this moment to faint.

-x-X-x-X-x-

**(A/N: Ah! It's scary. I've loved this plot for so long, until I actually wrote it out… ;; Aw, well. Please review!)**


	2. Chapter Two: Doesn't

**Author:** Lucky Koriand'r  
**Title: "Crazy Sunshine"**  
**Summary:** WIP "Because, really, I just need someone to be there for me when I fall…"  
**Genre:** Angst / Romance  
**Pairing:** Kanau / Ichi  
**Rating:** PG-13 

-x-X-x-X-x-

((Suki dakara suki…)

_Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
And you bleed just to know you're alive  
And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am  
_-Iris  


  
(Daisuke dakara daisuke.)) 

Chapter Two

I arched my neck back until my head bumped the walls. Casting a furtive glance at the peacefully sleeping boy, wondering if I'd really done him a favor, as everyone had said I did. They were all gone, fishing around for his body, but every so often I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being watched. When this happened, I'd always check to see if Ichi was awake yet, though he never was.

Half-past ten, I was beyond worrying if I was losing my mind, more onto worrying where I could find it.

-x-X-x-X-x-

Okay. I'll admit it. I fell asleep, I wasn't supposed to, and I woke up to the reason I wasn't supposed to.

Ichi had his face pressed close to mine, curiosity etched into every detail. "Who _are_ you?" He asked. I laughed lightly. I'd been here all this time, entered the shrine for the first time the day that he did. "I'm nobody," I assured him. "I don't matter." He frowned, looking a bit more confused than before. Regardless, his lips stayed pursed while he backed away. Once at a reasonable distance, however, every question in his mind bore on his face. "So… What am I doing here? Where's everyone else?"

"Looking for you…?" I offered. I knew he wouldn't understand, but how were you supposed to tell someone that all of their friends were out looking for their possibly dead body? "Whelp," I said, shrugging the odd feeling in my stomach, something akin to pity, but not quite. "We need to go." I grabbed his arm before he could question me any further and headed to the bridge once more.

-x-X-x-X-x-  
I think I would have cried. I hadn't even realized that this whole ordeal had shoved Senpai from mind completely. When my eyes fell over the bridge, however, my eyes stung and I had to bite my lip to hold in the tears.

This method worked for a whole of one minute before my lip began spilling blood into my mouth, and the stinging accelerated a couple times. _Math phrases?_ my mind supplied as tears began to well, and I rushed to the water, splashing my face to buy time. _28.000625 x 5968 divided by X equals fifty-two. X is? 310336... Times… No! _"Ugh…" I voiced. If anyone had been looking at my eyes, they would have seen my mind reeling (thankfully, no one had), and probably would have heard the squeaking of pain as dust spurted everywhere.

Living with Mikuni was definitely not good for my brain.

Sighing, I looked up at everyone off-shore in greeting, them having only just noticed our presence. They seemed to consult with each other before heading over to us. No doubt they'd been wondering what to tell Ichi.

I subconsciously held my breath when Mitsuo came over to me, but let it out when he just nodded at me and continued to Ichi. He probably wanted to know what I'd told him. It didn't matter, because if I told Mitsuo how much I'd told Ichi, then I wouldn't get to laugh at their idle nervous chatter.

Besides, I wanted to be the one to tell Ichi.

I don't care, really, how selfish it was. It was **my** fault. This day couldn't have been weirder, I think, and I wanted to be weird, too. I didn't want to be me, because then none of it would matter. Not Senpai. Not death. Not Mikuni's damn cigarette jumping up and down as he cursed, and definitely not me. So I laughed. I picked up my apron, laughed, let the tears spill over my face and I spun like there was no tomorrow, dancing away conscious thought.

Dancing away something like life. Because that, that I didn't need.

-x-X-x-X-x-

"Tell me."

I blinked as Mikuni's hands flew to the wall on either side of me. "Tell me what's so special about today." Mitsuo winced from the small crowd to my left. So, he'd told. Maybe it was his idea of a confession, to make this not his fault.

I decided, right then and there. _It doesn't matter._ "I died." And with that, I walked through his arm and outside, where I could reside under a tree. I felt their eyes boring into me and I winced.

_Oh well._

-x-X-x-X-x-

**(A/N: Hmm. Sorry, I felt random today. At the top: Suki dakara suki means "I like you because I like you," and daisuke dakara daisuke means "I love you because I love you. It doesn't really fit… But it will later.)**


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